Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

If an abortion doesn’t affect you, why do people make it a big deal?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Canadian Robot Finds a Weight Beneath the Ocean Equivalent to 250 Million Elephants - Jason Deegan

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Judge Scolds Diddy for ‘Nodding Vigorously’ to the Jury, Threatens to Remove Him From Courtroom - Variety

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Buried under 2 kilometers of Antarctic ice, scientists find a 34-million-year-old lost world - The Brighter Side of News

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I can count

What are the withdrawal symptoms of Klonopin 1mg?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Nutritionists reveal the surprising health benefits of maple syrup, including less belly fat - Earth.com

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Deportees are being held in a converted shipping container in Djibouti, ICE says - NPR

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

What was your best revenge story?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If Jesus was crucified by Governor Pontius Pilate, why does the Quran deny his death?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Does having the wrong address on my car insurance invalidate my policy?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

Why do flat-earth conspiracy theorists believe that photos from space, including those of satellites, are fake?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What is your most intimate experience with your best friend?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes